Wednesday, May 26, 2010

VALENCIA 0 (ZERO) / THOMAS +1 (ONE) I FOUGHT THE LAW & I WON...

Hello No one,

After a long journey over the past two weeks against the school of VCC I win.

I'm being allowed to take my final.

Apparently, two of the Deans there were able to convince a somewhat difficult teacher to take a 180 degree turn.

This professor once marketed someone absent for attending their Grandfather's funeral even when documentation was provided showing her G-pa died.

You can only imagine the journey this has been.

Let this be a lesson to absolutely no one following my blog that when you let honesty and truth fill the sails of a mission you embark upon; you have the ability to traverse any tempest life throws at you.

I love the world, M theory is dead on, and I have something in common with all objects in my field.. we are all the dust of stars!

Monday, May 24, 2010

Valencia Community College Violates Right to Free Speech via Ms. Aronsky

Hello no one,

The following is an assignment which was issued in which we, the students of the ill fated Ms. Aronsky ENC-1101, were to write an Urban Legend.

The instructions for the paper were, "Make a story that's outrageous but with a hint of believability."

I spoke with Ms. Aronsky prior to my phalanges striking the first key on my lap top.

When we spoke I mentioned that I was currently reading the Beauty series by Anne Rice written under the pseudonym A N Rouqulore.

She was aware of the context the Beauty series was based on and we then discussed fairy tales.

Ms. Aronsky went on to say that the story of , "Little Red Riding Hood", was based on a young girls menstrual cycle.

Ok, a little strange... (ellipsis, get used to these now... I'm breaking you in) but I was going to write an Urban Legend to be reckoned (yes, I am from the South) with.

The following paper is unedited and was turned into Ms. Aronsky.

I was written through the college's Atlas system by her saying to redo it, in effect censoring my paper.

The following week I received a letter from the Dean of Students containing two other ludicrous accusations and my student registration was pulled because the Urban Legend was "inappropriate."

Ironically enough when I had the University of Central Florida Librarian search her Florida public college's data base for the series, it exist in the collections of all major Universities in Florida except UCF. (Pardon the comma splice... I generally have only written well for assignments and this blogging concept is similar to email vernacular... so just think of the following paper as Latin, but the butchering of the Queen's English above as Italian... =)

Woops, it's on an external hard drive I don't currently have... but please let the following picture serve as a kind of comic intermission until I am able to hook up the drive that is missing in action....





Enough humorous pictures of Jesus on a Raptor or perhaps T-Rex...

As promised, this is the essay I submitted on April 15th, 2010 which totally messed up my ability to go to school for Summer A, I was put on restriction, disallowed to register, and my student status pulled. Just to be fair the Dean of Students and Communications has recently apologized for all that happen.

London Daily Times (May 1, 1898)

A horrible secret was just discovered about a tribe found in the depths of Africa’s Congo region. Sir Edward Conan was exploring the region on a hunting expedition and came across them.The tribe, known as the Shuwando-Nee (pronounced: shu-WAN-doh-knee), have been found to be eaters of human flesh. Sir Conan was not immediately aware of the people he had befriended until a disagreement broke out between a rival tribe, the Keeawanee (pronounced: Kei-WAN-nee).

Captives from the Keewanee tribe were brought back to the Shuwando-Nee village after the conflict. As an explorer Sir Conan was enthralled to be witness a tribal dispute between two tribes that time had forgotten. Next there was a ceremony to be performed on the men of the Keewanee tribe that would prove to literally leave Sir Conan fearful for himself. The Keewanee tribes men were led to five make shift crosses that had protruding rhino phalluses the men were impaled on. Next their hands were bound to the sides of the crosses and legs tied at angles with ropes woven from vines.

(The following is from the log of Sir Conan)

Next the females which were captured from the opposing tribe were forced to perform oral sex on the impaled men making their penises become erect. After this occurred the medicine man for the Shuwando-Nee came towards them with a sharpened piece of kuro-cha (pronounced : koro-CHA) with a beautifully ornate piece of carved ivory. Sir Conan later recalls that kuro-cha is the native’s word for sky metal or a meteorite which they harvested the metal from.

As the shaman came close to the men the slave women from the other tribe were dismissed. Next he raised the sharpened kuro-cha and began an incoherent chant. The blade came down severing the penis of the young tribe’s man. His testicles quickly came out and gathered in a pool of amorphic flesh at his feet. This continued down the line for the other four men while a local tribe’s woman collected these organs in what appeared to be a sacred bowl. She also took a needle fashioned from bone and using animal sinew sewed the mutilated genitals into a bulbous knot on the front of the men.

All of the various men’s manhoods were taken to a large pot which had been simmering during the whole ceremony. An ecstasy came over the whole tribe as they began to chant in unison. This continued for at least another thirty minutes. I must say that the exotic aroma coming from the kettle was somewhat intoxicating on a very strange level. After the cooking had come to an end the tribe’s chants lowered in their primal beats. The organs of the men were taken out and over to where they still remained impaled on the rhino horns which continued to pierce their anal cavities. One by one each was forced to watch as the tribe elders ate their organs. By the following morning the men were taken down from the cross they hung the night before. These sexually mutilated men would now serve as the Chiefton’s unics for his stable of women. I left the next morning reflecting deeply on the savage acts I’d seen the night before. God safe the Queen.

Pondering the beginning, a .0 decimal followed by 123 zero's and a 2 as the force of anti-gravity present @the Big Bang counteracting gravity

McDonalds, 2:18 AM... and going outside to smoke a Djarum Black Clove.

Do Electronic Sheep jump a wooden or metal fence?

If only a Bladerunner or someone from Snow Crash were on now...(ellipsis)

=p umpkin.